Hey there,
Have you ever sat and wondered what seasons really mean? Don’t worry, too went on Google and saw several definitions of season.
One definition says – a period of the year (spring, summer, autumn, and winter) that is distinguished by special climate conditions.
Another says – divisions of the year marked by particular weather patterns and daylight hours, resulting from the earth’s changing position with regard to the Sun.
You may not have defined it in those exact words but I’m sure you had an idea of what it is.
What do seasons have to do with being a stay-at-home mum? Nothing and everything!
Nothing because it’s got nothing to do with who I am and what I do.
Everything because it’s the reason I now do what I do.
As a Christian, seasons have a whole different meaning. Just as God created the seasons of nature, He created and designed our lives to have seasons. These seasons are the various circumstances we go through in life, and they are not fate or coincidences but they are designed and permitted by God with great purpose and intentionality.
Before becoming a stay-at-home mum, I had a personal business that I was running; looking back in hindsight now, I know it wasn’t a very profitable business as it could barely sustain itself. And before that, I worked with an engineering firm as a Customer Service Representative cum assistant secretary cum manager…hahaha, a very ‘all-encompassing’ role/title. In all of these periods, I can particularly say was fulfilled or even happy! Yet I hated becoming a stay-at-home mum! I felt some sort of prestige being able to wake up, get dressed, and jet out, either to my job then or my business.
I went with the flow up until 2019/2020 when had to relocate to another country and that’s when the deep soul-searching began. I spent days and weeks questioning my life choices. I took out my frustrations on my husband and young children. I was always unhappy, always nagging and irritable. How did I get here? Where did I go wrong? Maybe I should have gone back to school? Maybe I should have changed my course of study during my undergrad days… the endless myriad of questions plagued my waking moments and sometimes even my sleep.
During this time, I practically grumbled to God; like I didn’t think He was that intentional about me! I didn’t think He understood what I was going through or what it felt like to be penniless sometimes.
As if to remind me of my ungratefulness and childish acts, I met a dear friend and sister, who has a blog page (read more here https://livingwordswithkibiee.wordpress.com/ ), we got talking and I understood that I was in a new season! She was actually the second person to say it but it NEVER made much sense to me!
At the time, my children were 3yo and 5yo. I was in a new location away from family and friends. We all (my husband, the children, and I) were just settling in and it was no easy feat. I tried to fine-tune my hair-styling skills at a salon a distance from my home, but it wasn’t working because I had to leave every day before paying customers came in – I was wasting money on commuting and I wasn’t really learning anything. And the skills I already had weren’t good enough to get any client to work on.
I sooooo struggled with God on this but He really is intentional about His own, so much so that by the end of 2021, I knew the salon gig was a completely wrong move. Mind you, my husband had said the same to me but I was hell-bent on not being a stay-at-home mum that I ignored all he said and even the unbelievably obvious signs.
I left in frustration but somewhere in all of my anger, the message became clearer: this is your new season!
My children were young (they still are – I have a baby now) and my new assignment is my family!!!
BOOM!!! A true revelation!!!!! And at that point, I stopped struggling. I embraced my new assignment ( my home i.e. husband and children), found peace and beauty in the season I am in, and trust God to beautify everything as it all unfolds!!
It was, and still, is a win-win situation!
I still falter from time to time but no longer as a result of despise, irritation, or even depression!
I falter because – well, I’m human and used to be a major worrier and perfectionist (hahaha I believe God is refining me, that’s why I put it in past tense -wink).
I know there is a God who cares for me and is very intentional and patient with me.
Oh, how I so pray that my life pleases Him in and out of seasons!!!
Once again, welcome to my stay-at-home mum life… it’s going to be a fun ride as we grow and learn together!
I am not perfect, not by a long way, but I trust that within the pages of this website and my vulnerability, we come to know and love this God more and more.
Shalom! Shalom!!